The Motivation Myth: How to Stay Motivated in Winter (Without Relying on Willpower)

It was a deep winter during COVID, and we just moved to the countryside. Restaurants, bars, bowling alleys, movie theater were closed. We had nowhere to go, nothing to do, and the strict 8 p.m. curfew made our world feel even smaller.

We started going for daily walks to cope with the sheer boredom (and probably a little cabin fever). I’d love to tell you I was excited about this. But honestly? I wasn’t. At first, I had a million excuses:

“I’m tired.”

“My head hurts.”

“It’s cold.”

“I just washed my hair.”

"What’s the point?”

But despite my protests, we still went. (Almost) every single day. And slowly—without realizing it—I changed.

At first, I resisted.

Then, I tolerated it.

Then, I initiated it.

And one day when I heard the question: "Do you want to go for a walk?" I replied: "No, not really, but let’s go anyway."

Somewhere along the way, I stopped negotiating with myself. And now? It’s automatic. Unless I’m sick or it’s pouring rain, I walk. If I miss a day? It feels off. My brain and body expect it now. The habit is part of me. But here’s the thing: motivation had nothing to do with it.

Lesson #1: Action Comes Before Motivation

If you want to learn how to stay motivated in winter, the first step is understanding that motivation isn’t what gets you started—action is. And motivation follows.🔥

Research shows that habits don’t form overnight—they develop through repetition. Each time you complete an action in a consistent context (like going for a walk after work), your brain strengthens the association between cue (finishing work) and behavior (going for a walk), making the action feel automatic over time (Clear, 2018).

But let’s be honest—starting is the hardest part.

The longer you wait, the more time your brain has to come up with excuses:

❌ "I’ll do it later."

❌ "Maybe tomorrow."

❌ "I'm not in the mood."

💡 One trick that helps? The 3-Second Rule.

Whenever you think about doing something, count down from 3 and just start before your brain can talk you out of it.

3… 2… 1… Stand up. Put on your shoes. Walk out the door.

You don’t need to commit to an hour-long session. Just start the action, do it for 5 minutes and your motivation will catch up.

The same applies to exercise, work, or any habit you want to build.

👉 Motivation isn’t what starts the process. It’s what keeps it going.

Lesson #2: Comfortable ≠ Beneficial

What's Good For You Isn’t Always Comfortable. Comfortable Isn’t Always Good For You.

This is a very important lesson I have learned. Think about it:

🛌 Staying in bed all day is comfortable. But over time, it makes you feel worse.

🙅🏻‍♀️ Setting boundaries is uncomfortable. But it leads to healthier relationships.

🧘🏻‍♀️ Moving your body on a cold winter day might not sound fun, but it makes you feel better.

Your brain craves comfort—even if that

comfort isn’t good for you.

Your body craves stability—even if that stability keeps you stuck.

So if you’re waiting for motivation to make things feel easy… you’ll be waiting forever. Real growth? It starts with tolerating a little discomfort.

Lesson #3: You Have to Train Your Brain Until It Misses the Habit

Habits don’t form in 21 days. New research shows that the process takes anywhere from 18 to 254 days, with an average of 66 days for a new habit to feel automatic (Lally et al., 2009).

✅ The new habit becomes normal.

✅ Skipping it starts to feel wrong.

✅ You no longer need willpower.

It’s like building a muscle—hard at first, then automatic. Now, if we skip a walk?

I notice it. I miss it. I want to make up for it.

💡 The real game-changer? Not forcing motivation—but doing something long enough until your brain expects it.

Lesson #4: Small Wins Build Momentum

Another thing I learned? You have to give yourself credit for showing up. Each time you acknowledge small wins, your brain releases dopamine—the "reward chemical" that makes you want to do it again (Murayama et al., 2010).

Instead of saying:

🙅🏻‍♀️ “I only walked for 15 minutes. That’s nothing.”

✅ Say: “I went outside when I didn’t feel like it. That’s progress.”

🙅🏻‍♀️ “I only wrote one paragraph today.”

✅ Say: “I opened my laptop and started. That’s a win.”

This is why acknowledging effort matters. Because if you only celebrate perfect results, you’ll never feel like you’re making progress.

So, How Do You Stay Motivated in Winter?

Let’s drop the “quick hacks” and be real: motivation in winter is hard. It’s darker. It’s colder. Your brain wants to hibernate. But if I’ve learned anything from that winter of walking, it’s this:

1️⃣ Start before you feel ready - Your brain will catch up.)

2️⃣ Repeat it until it feels normal - Habits are built, not gifted

3️⃣ Celebrate showing up, not just big wins - Momentum loves recognition

5️⃣ Be kind to yourself. - There will be days when you can't make yourself go. And that is okay

4️⃣ Recognize that comfort isn’t always your friend - Sometimes, what feels “right” isn’t what’s best

If you wait until you want to do it, you never will. If you just start, motivation follows.

And it doesn't have to be a grand, life-changing thing. It’s about starting with one tiny action. And slowly building from there.

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About Me Hey, I’m Timi—a certified psychologist and coach, currently training in CBT. I help people overcome self-doubt, stress, and overthinking with practical tools so they can build confidence and create a life that feels perfectly enough. 💌 Wanna build new habits, but not sure where to start? Let’s find the next step together—reach out here.